Last night Brandon and I rented "Twilight". I usually would never had rented a vampire movie but my sister (who I think is even less likely to enjoy a vampire movie) said she saw it several times and loved it.
So I had to see what the fuss was about. And boy, did it create a fuss in me too!
WARNING: Don't keep reading if you haven't seen the movie. I am going to ruin some surprises for you if you keep reading.
It was really strange how this movie didn't seem like a vampire movie, but rather the ultimate chick flick. And my analytical mind (that drives Brandon crazy when we are watching a movie together) realized that this story seemed to be the epitome of a passionate love story.
And eventually I realized that they couldn't have achieved this epitome of a love story without making the man a super human with..
a) ultimate strength, speed and mind reading,
b) the wisdom of hundreds of years
c) the ability to protect his woman night and day because he doesn't sleep, etc...
A man who truly has nothing else to do so he can devote every moment and breathe 24/7 to his mate (who, by the way, is the only mind he can't read, because that wouldn't make for a very fun relationship).
So I tortured Brandon with my analysis of what women truly want in a love relationship (that one thing that woman are trying to engage in as single women in the dating scene; that thing a woman will always want even after she's married; and probably the major factor in why women have affairs). We want those oogly googly moments where a man looks into our eyes and truly wants to know more about us, is intrigued my our uniqueness, wants to be with us all the time and is willing to do super human things to protect us!
CAVEAT:
I know I'm not really capturing the true essence of what is it women need but I'll leave that up to the self-help section at your local bookstore. (And I'm sure I would be able to articulate this better if I ever got around to reading the "Captivating" book by Eldredge.) But for now, I'm just sharing some thoughts stirred up by the movie.
Then (later in the night as I was still obsessed with processing all of this) I realized it's really a bummer movie for men. Yes, Brandon liked it because of the action scenes and things like that, but from the perspective that this is the ultimate chick flick all the regular human guys on earth could get really discouraged that they
a) DO have to sleep at night to regain strength
b) AREN'T faster than light or
c) strong enough to take their women on a ride to the top of an ancient tree overlooking mountain ranges and rivers whenever she would like, etc...
All of these thoughts led to a lengthy conversation (at midnight, as Brandon is trying to go to sleep) between Brandon and I about the passion we felt when we were dating and engaged. Things seemed to change so fast and much seemed to be lost after we entered survival mode because of finances and having a kid and super busy lives. We stopped hanging out to just enjoy each other.
Many of you know exactly what I'm talking about, even if/when you do get to go on a date you have things you want to talk about.
So, I'm not trying to make a special recommendation for the movie. Rather, I'm intrigued at how they used the life of a "vegetarian" vampire to create what felt, to me, like the ultimate chick flick or passionate love story. I'm sure this sounds pretty pathetic but I don't really care because it helped me remember some pretty important stuff that shouldn't be forgotten or lost after you get married.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Something's missing...
I am super emotional right now and those of you who know me know that's a pretty big deal. Even though I am a female, I am NOT much of a "feeler" and much more of a "thinker". It is to my fault sometimes that I am very business-like with everything in my life. My emotions almost always take back seat to my check-list. Even my thoughts usually ignore my feelings. But eventually the big emotions catch up with my mind and pound down the door to explode into front & center stage!
So here I am on a Sunday evening...
Riley went down to bed like a perfect big 2 year old!
The house got a deep clean this week and we even re-cleaned some things after the party!
Everything on my checklist is checked!
Sounds like everything should feel perfect, right?!
But it doesn't...all I can think is that it feels like something is missing!
(And something tells me it has nothing to do with a checklist.)
I told Brandon how I felt and, like the great husband he is, he prayed with me, hugged me as a cried, and put my favorite movie in the DVD player - Cheaper By The Dozen!
So here I am, watching my favorite feel-good movie, snuggled up with pillows and blankets and on the couch with my husband! But something is missing!
Now it feels like it's my thoughts that aren't caught up with my emotions. Can you tell I'm a helpless emotional!!!
So what's missing...
...I miss my church family...
...I miss my family family, and nowhere feels like home as much as being with them...
...I'm dreading Brandon going to work tomorrow and I feel like I miss him already...
...I miss having my long checklist of Riley's party plans to distract my mind from my emotions...
Honestly, I know I was right with the first one = I miss my church!
For those of you who don't know, my ("our" if your from TCC) church, Twin Cities Church, has closed. We ended with the loving arms of our Father wrapped around us and worshipped him together for our final Sunday morning service on June 7th.
I really haven't figured out what's ahead but blogging (and the movie) are helping me find an optimistic thought and I look forward to talking with God each day this week as he walks me through what feels like grieving. Grieving the loss of my church...
...my family away from MI...
...my best Minneapolis friends...
...my spiritual encouragement...
...my long time unofficial part-time job...
...and for a short time, my latest official part-time job...
...the church that got me through college...
...the church where I was married...
...the church where my first and only (so far) child was dedicated...
...the church where I preached my first and only (so far) sermons...
...the only church I have ever know as my own, besides the church I was raised in, in MI...
I will never forget the mental pictures I have of those moments in the church when God spoke to me or the many amazing things that came from our kids as they were exposed to God's presence.
So what are those 5, or however many, steps or phases of grieving...
Here's what I found online (not scientific, but general concise info):
http://www.webmd.com/balance/tc/grief-and-grieving-topic-overview
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
Step 1, Denial - check. I think my business-like mind takes care of denying the emotions.
Step 2, Anger - check. Coupled with guilt. Step 3, Bargaining - check: Riley's party was how I compromised with the certain fate that things would not be the same anymore for my church family.
Step 4, Depression - I think this is where I am at now, although I wouldn't call it depression, that's a bit too strong of a word.
Step 5, Acceptance - I'm sure this is coming soon and I'm looking forward anxiously!
To all my friends/family from Twin Cities Church, I know I will see you all soon but I also know that closing our church will have a real affect on each of us and all of us. So please feel free to share your thoughts and prayers, just like we always have, and that should never change.
So here I am on a Sunday evening...
Riley went down to bed like a perfect big 2 year old!
The house got a deep clean this week and we even re-cleaned some things after the party!
Everything on my checklist is checked!
Sounds like everything should feel perfect, right?!
But it doesn't...all I can think is that it feels like something is missing!
(And something tells me it has nothing to do with a checklist.)
I told Brandon how I felt and, like the great husband he is, he prayed with me, hugged me as a cried, and put my favorite movie in the DVD player - Cheaper By The Dozen!
So here I am, watching my favorite feel-good movie, snuggled up with pillows and blankets and on the couch with my husband! But something is missing!
Now it feels like it's my thoughts that aren't caught up with my emotions. Can you tell I'm a helpless emotional!!!
So what's missing...
...I miss my church family...
...I miss my family family, and nowhere feels like home as much as being with them...
...I'm dreading Brandon going to work tomorrow and I feel like I miss him already...
...I miss having my long checklist of Riley's party plans to distract my mind from my emotions...
Honestly, I know I was right with the first one = I miss my church!
For those of you who don't know, my ("our" if your from TCC) church, Twin Cities Church, has closed. We ended with the loving arms of our Father wrapped around us and worshipped him together for our final Sunday morning service on June 7th.
I really haven't figured out what's ahead but blogging (and the movie) are helping me find an optimistic thought and I look forward to talking with God each day this week as he walks me through what feels like grieving. Grieving the loss of my church...
...my family away from MI...
...my best Minneapolis friends...
...my spiritual encouragement...
...my long time unofficial part-time job...
...and for a short time, my latest official part-time job...
...the church that got me through college...
...the church where I was married...
...the church where my first and only (so far) child was dedicated...
...the church where I preached my first and only (so far) sermons...
...the only church I have ever know as my own, besides the church I was raised in, in MI...
I will never forget the mental pictures I have of those moments in the church when God spoke to me or the many amazing things that came from our kids as they were exposed to God's presence.
So what are those 5, or however many, steps or phases of grieving...
Here's what I found online (not scientific, but general concise info):
http://www.webmd.com/balance/tc/grief-and-grieving-topic-overview
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
Step 1, Denial - check. I think my business-like mind takes care of denying the emotions.
Step 2, Anger - check. Coupled with guilt. Step 3, Bargaining - check: Riley's party was how I compromised with the certain fate that things would not be the same anymore for my church family.
Step 4, Depression - I think this is where I am at now, although I wouldn't call it depression, that's a bit too strong of a word.
Step 5, Acceptance - I'm sure this is coming soon and I'm looking forward anxiously!
To all my friends/family from Twin Cities Church, I know I will see you all soon but I also know that closing our church will have a real affect on each of us and all of us. So please feel free to share your thoughts and prayers, just like we always have, and that should never change.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Related to previous post...
So today I read Psalm 19 and realized that David says it much better:
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world."
Psalm 19: 1-4a
It is also very cool to think about David sitting and thinking about the same thing I was thinking! If time didn't keep us so far apart I would totally turn to David and say "I hear ya!" And put my fist out for some "knuckles"!
This also makes me think about how cool it is that the sky can communicate to the whole world. We are much more limited in how many can hear our 'voice' but nevertheless we do 'communicate' to everything around us and have the power to speak life or death. I want to speak more life. And I pray that I have the opportunity to speak life to the death I have communicated, or that it will be overcome by life communicated by another.
"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words;
no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world."
Psalm 19: 1-4a
It is also very cool to think about David sitting and thinking about the same thing I was thinking! If time didn't keep us so far apart I would totally turn to David and say "I hear ya!" And put my fist out for some "knuckles"!
This also makes me think about how cool it is that the sky can communicate to the whole world. We are much more limited in how many can hear our 'voice' but nevertheless we do 'communicate' to everything around us and have the power to speak life or death. I want to speak more life. And I pray that I have the opportunity to speak life to the death I have communicated, or that it will be overcome by life communicated by another.
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